Hormones are amazing. If there is a lack of interesting relationships in our lives at any one moment, well, we can always explore our relationship to these consistent companions.
Sometimes in the middle of the month I like to eat chocolate and cry about any movie that I see. Other times, I write lots of songs, so many that I forget most of them right away and the rest in another few weeks. I’ll start cleaning every nook and cranny on some months. On others, I’ll crave salt to no end. Sometimes I’ll look at my dog and cry because he is so cute and impermanent. The options are endless. The extra influx of feeling is predictable, and yet it always catches me off guard.
My last post was about the uselessness and potential detrimental nature of making comparisons. That topic has continued to plague me in subtle ways. I think I shall continue with it, from a new angle.
How do you measure up to your ideals? Are you lucky enough so that your ideals stay in one place, as one thing, unchanging? Probably not.
Some days I want to be a famous writer. Other days, I want to be a loving and compassionate mother. On other days, I want to have a dog that is more relaxed while walking near other dogs. On some days, I want to be a hermit that lived in a cave my whole life. There are many things to master in this world, and there are many days where I kick myself mentally for not having mastered one or another of them. Why didn’t I spend the last fifteen years perfecting guitar so that I could be a famous songwriter? Why did I not go to school for writing instead of psychology, so that I could make my book a success? Why did I not do grad school after getting my bachelors, so that I could at least have a job that related to my college education? Why am I putting off getting continuing education credits for massage, so that my massage license has slipped away as well?
I have the same birthday as Sigmund Freud. I don’t know what this means, but it is worth mentioning, because it was the 6th of May. Happy Birthday, Mr. Freud. That man did a lot to change the way that psychology was carried out. And then his teachings got generalized and simplified and now it seems many people do not take him seriously. Did his dreams come true, just because his name made it? I am not sure.
There is also Carl Jung. He separated from Freud in a few ways; one of them being that he felt we were all a bit more connected than Freud thought. To Jung, we were connected through this inherited part of our psyche known as the “collective unconscious”. This part of your psyche would be why you had feelings of deja vu, and it also came into play with the feeling of understanding myths. One of the most fascinating aspects, to me, of the collective unconscious is the organizing principle of the archetype. When you hear someone talk about their dreams, chances are that sometimes, there are aspects that are similar to your own dreams. There might be a mother figure; there might be an intelligent teacher figure. These are archetypes. They affect the way that we organize information.
Then, there is Huna. People will claim it is Hawaiian, but this is kind of like saying that McDonald’s French Fries are French. There are some problems with the transmission of Huna, since, in a sense, it was robbed of people, and comes from a time and place incredibly different from ours. Freud can talk about a phallic building and we can know what he means; Huna can talk about the spirit of a certain mountain, and unless we grew up on (and not merely visited) a specific island of Hawaii, we may not really know what it feels like to be acquainted with that spirit. Because of this, I mention Huna with a complete acknowledgement that I know nothing of what I speak; I am merely using these organizing principles of the human psyche as I have seen them written, in a way that anchors them in a common understanding so that other readers can make some use of them if they wish.
I read a very useful book on an introduction to Huna, and here is what I have gathered. Unihipili is like the unconscious; a realm of emotion, primitive urges, connection to nature. Uhane is the sense of self, the ego, the filter, the thing that we present to the outside world. Aumakua is a teeny tiny bit similar to the superego, according to Freud. The part of us aware of morals. In the adaptation of Huna that I read, Aumakua is connected to other Superegos, in a specific place in Kauai. Like the collective unconscious, according to Jung. The archetypes in Huna contain kernels from the other philosophies; hence, this idea of archetypes. Multiple theories drawing attention to the same phenomenon.
There are a lot of places I could go with this. I wrote the preceding paragraphs right before that big super moon, and now it is a week later. I feel a bit less charged.
Perhaps we could apply this to ourselves. Sometimes, I feel that my closest friends are going to just decide they don’t like me. Usually this happens with newer friends. Other times, I imagine my boyfriend is not attracted to me. There are days I feel that nobody likes me, and other days I feel that I am fabulous. Turns out that when I share these feelings with the people that evoke them, they are feeling the same thing, or have felt it before.
Archetypes. We all feel them. Emotional archetypes. “You don’t like me anymore,” “You are better than me,” “You are probably cheating on me,” whatever. These things, they are archetypes. You have felt them before, and you will feel them again.
Unlike the “wise old teacher” archetype or the “fool”, the emotional archetypes seem to be easily dispersed. All they take is conscious attention and two pairs of eyes.
That is, as soon as you say them out loud to someone else, they seem to dissipate.
You can bury it in your gut all you want, the feeling of “this or that friend doesn’t really like me, she hates me, she just wants me to fail, she wants to be better than me, she never liked me,” but as soon as you even say these things out loud, to any fraction of an extent, to that specific friend, something amazing happens.
They freaking disappear.
Gone, like the dust of a vampire on Buffy. They are gone. You suddenly realize that the feeling was insane. But it took two pairs of eyes; two pairs of ears.
This is the point. Emotional archetypes. I made up that idea, so please do not take it too seriously. But the point is that if you feel things repetitively, they may be much like the archetypes that Freud and Jung had pointed to. We share them, and for every intense thing that you feel, there are millions of others in the same boat. Hence, the magnetic force of the power ballad.
So the next time a feeling seems to be taking over, especially if you are feeling hormonally focused due to the moon, or any other non-gender-specific factors, ask yourself some things. Do other people feel this? What would you tell them if they did? And, most importantly, what is the most relevant second pair of eyes that holds the cure, that holds the truth? Because if you knew the exact painless antidote to the plight of one of your friends, chances are that you would share it with them. You should do the same for yourself.