Yesterday my friend brought me to do an important errand for getting my massage license in Texas. I’ve been putting it off for years and now I am stepping back up to the plate. We began talking about how to make money.
“My wish for you is that you just see what you’re worth. Your time, your knowledge, and your energy is worth a lot more than I think you think it is.” She said, or something close to that.
I realized as she spoke that she was right. I’ve studied massage, but also herbalism and reiki and alternative heading treatments. Before that I studied psychology and Buddhism. I traveled to India to learn from Tibetan monks and traveled around my own country in vans and hitching rides with truck drivers in the south. I’ve lived with old gem collectors, farmers, herbalists and beer brewers. I’ve delved into the minds of con artists and traveling artists, meditators and masters of running away.
I have a lot to draw from.
Recently I went through a break up that I saw coming before the other person did. I know how feelings tend to work, especially when other people come into the equation. What hurts is the feeling of calling it, knowing it, and being told it simply isn’t true. Until it is, and I feel taken off guard and lied to.
I see now the problem wasn’t that he lied, it was that I saw what was happening before he did. I just believed him over myself.
Maybe it’s my personality, maybe it’s growing up as a woman in this culture, maybe it’s a lot of things. But I definitely have a strong tendency to doubt myself and assume anything I offer is a meager second-rate version of what someone else would offer. My friend and her words to me make me want to spend a decent amount of energy paying attention to this.
I’m sure that for all of us, there are experiences that feed our view of the world in ways that give us extra insight. Sometimes we forget how these experiences actually enhance our “value” in every area of life we choose to engage with. Sometimes we doubt the plain and simple truth because we start thinking too much about how other people see it, and just like that, it’s as if all the time we spent on our passions and indulging our curiosity is wasted in a way because we aren’t listening to it.
But I would like to do a better job of listening to and respecting my own flavor of hard-earned wisdom, and respecting the same in others. I wonder how it will shift the daily flavor of my existence to do that.
How about you, do you feel like you have life experiences that add to the way you are able to assess situations now differently than some people you are close to?
Do you doubt yourself a lot, is that a problem?
Can you think of ways to be more aware of your gifts and share them with greater confidence so the world around you can benefit from your unique flavor of wisdom?