Screen/No Screen: My Commitment to the Uncomfortable

There was a moment at the airport where I was watching two people on their iPads. One was an older woman, the other was a small child. They happened to be sitting next to each other with a seat in between.

I knew I as inspired, but didn’t know why. Then it became clear.

There is a game I play now called “Screen/No Screen.” Here are the rules:

• Randomly notice throughout the day whether you are looking at a screen or not at a screen.
• Regardless of which it is, yell it joyfully in your head. (Screen! or, No Screen!)
• Soak in the details of whichever it happens to be.

This game is proving to be quite fun. Sometimes I’m doing the dishes and I yell silently, “No Screen!” I proceed to notice all the possible details that I can about the moment that make it not-a-screen. The three dimensions. The colors of the soap bubbles. The way they smell. The temperature and texture of the water. The sounds around me. The bigness of the world; it’s independence from my fingers.

Then other times I say “Screen!” and I notice the flatness, the control, the comfortable sterility. I notice the relaxed feeling I have at the complete absence of social pressure. I take a second to look at the space between the back of the computer and the wall, or the space between my face and the screen. The space around us, the space above me. All of it.

Why Play Screen/No Screen?

There is one thing I’ve noticed about certain potently scary and dismal interpretations of where mankind is headed. Take Wall-E, for example. I love that freaking movie. Also, take Farenheit 451. Look at the worst parts of those potential futures.

The biggest problem is not the technology or evilness of people. It is that the people don’t quite have perspective. The ones that do maintain perspective and a willingness to be uncomfortable are the ones that make it. They are the ones that still dare to walk in the rain. The ones that can talk to each other without an electric medium. The ones that can see what is happening rather than being a mindless part of it for the sake of not feeling awkward.

For me, the willingness to be uncomfortable is the primary difference between just looking around at the world and being glued to a screen.

Understanding The Allure

There are a lot of reasons to have a screen, especially for those of us that are socially awkward or shy. For instance:

• It gives you full control.
• It doesn’t get emotionally hurt by anything you do.
• It can’t judge you.
• It is bright and shiny.
• It is easily replaceable.

All of these things make it seem like a great choice in the moment-to-moment. But making that choice every time anything is awkward is what can lead to problems.

That is, after all, how I got addicted to cigarettes. They became the solution to any possible feeling of awkwardness, joy, sadness, anything.

Why would I want my cell phone or computer to do the same thing? Should I make a happy status update every time something good happens, check Facebook any time I feel awkward in a coffee shop, look at my email as soon as we are high enough above the clouds so that the in-flight WiFi works?

Or could I talk to a stranger, look out at the TOPS OF CLOUDS, make a new friend at the coffee place, feeling awkward or scared sometimes but doing it anyway?

Just Notice

No matter how much fun the screens are, no matter how much we need them for our jobs or social plans, we can always remember to note that sometimes we are looking at them, and sometimes we are not. No judgement; just noticing.

Instead of making a commitment to my health or happiness or joy or talent, I am going to make a commitment now to not fear being uncomfortable. When that feeling arises, as it undoubtedly will, it is simply a sign that I am not fully absorbed in an emotionally sterile future, and that I am still alive. There is no reason to intentionally use fewer screens because I can play Screen/No Screen and trust that I will not forget the difference.

How do you feel about screens, technology, tablets, phones, computers? Are they all-good or all-bad or somewhere in between? Do they affect your levels of inspiration in any way?

Do you think humanity is bound to rely on these things more and more for social interactions, or do you think there will always be people who have a sense of perspective on the whole scene?

I love to hear what you think!

Nothing Is Ever Lost: Multiple Manifestations Of The Subconscious

Ray Bradbury- Quote from Zen in the Art of Writing

I have been reading Zen in the Art of Writing ever since reading Vicki Winslow’s awesome post about it.  The book is a collection of essays, all by Ray on writing, and I have been working my way slowly through these precious pages. There is one essay called “Run Fast, Stand Still” which has been sitting like dew in my brain cells; and that essay is the inspirational backbone of this post.

Blogging As A Mindfulness Practice: Why I Left You A Comment

Everything you do can be used to help you wake up to the present moment. Why not make blogging into a mindfulness exercise?

 

This blogging world is pretty new to me. It’s so new that I don’t even know if it’s obvious that it’s new to me or not. I’m still learning everything from how to keep track of posts I like to finding a blog a second time.

When I first started making posts and actually putting effort in, I got a handful of followers. Some of them, who are probably reading this, were great people who actually read the post, actually liked it, maybe commented, and in either case, kept coming back for more.

Other new followers had blogs which I instantly checked out; I found something rather peculiar. A tiny handful of them had somewhat interesting posts, sure, but they also had loads, and I mean loads, of comments which were unanimously: “thank you for following my blog!”

Oh, that’s what this is, I thought. People aren’t following me because I’m an as-of-yet-undiscovered-genius; they are following me so that I follow them. Then it hit me, aha! I have had this feeling before!

I was sitting on the dirt next to a tree on the sidewalk in downtown Madison, Wisconsin. It was night time, so the only lighting was a juicy mix of streetlights and store lights, maybe some Christmas decorative lights as well, even though it was the later part of sweet early June.

I was selling necklaces that I had made; living out of a van with my guitar-playing gypsy boyfriend and a new puppy. A girl came up to me that evening and spent a lot of time asking me about each necklace; where I was when I made it, where I got the beads, how they would affect someone’s energy, and so on. She just wanted to know it all, and I was incredibly touched that a stranger was so kind and curious; and yet there was something strange. She was asking question after question, but wasn’t really engaging with the answers. I was just happy to be talking to someone.

After about a half hour of this flowery girl talk, she told me that she had come to tell me that there was one true savior and that he wanted me to be saved. My heart broke. It broke in half and fell to the bricks, oozing down into the crevices with leftover cigarette ash and dog pee. It made me hate her and anyone like her. I would not have minded had she walked up to me with a bible, stating her point, even if she wanted to yell at me or make fun of me. But she took the trouble to engage me in conversation, to find what mattered to me, and only then tell me her true purpose for starting the conversation.

That was the feeling I got when I looked at a person that had just started following me and realized that they had made a day of following any blog that had made a new post. Except the girl at least had looked me in the eye.

Now, it’s really not such a big deal. I may even be imagining that there is anything wrong with that approach to blogging; maybe it is just a common practice and I am in the dark.

My concern that since habits start to form around the ways we relate, the more time we spend on social network sites, the more that these patterns become part of the fabric of our being. We start getting careless and mindless in one arena, and slowly that mentality spreads like a stain on the rest of our lives. I believe that we can use the act of blogging, and of doing anything on the computer, to become more aware of the present moment.

My suggestion is that we all spend a teensy bit more time being aware of the things we do and the way we relate to people on our social media network. The quality of the things we write; the effort that goes into them and how that effort ends up impacting us when we leave the screen. There are so many things we can pay attention to in order to enhance the other parts of our lives. For instance, the more honest and clear I can be with a comment, the more it helps me to express certain feelings in my novel. Here is a list of a few things that you can pay attention to as you blog:

• Your posture as you read, write, and work.
• How you eat your food, if you eat by the computer. How you chew, swallow, and digest.
• How it feels when your eyes move from the screen to the surrounding areas of your home.
• How  it feels in your body when you stop to pet your dog or cat or pay attention to other people in the room.
• How your stomach feels right in this moment.
• How your feet feel on the surface or air that they are touching.
• How it feels in your belly or chest when you think about a sentence that you want to type; how it feels to type it.
• How it feels in your body when you listen to the noises happening around you.
• What the air smells like.
• How high above you the ceiling is; or the sky.
• The feeling of your head on your shoulders.
• How tense your shoulders are.
• How tense your upper arms are.
• How tense your forearms are.
• How tense your hands are.
• How tense your pointer finger is.
• And so on.

There are literally endless aspects of this moment that you can pay attention to. So why not try it? Why not try out how it feels to follow other blogs mindlessly, and how it feels to read a random post, read what it says, and comment on how it affected you even if it is a post you never would have read otherwise?

Since trying to leave more meaningful comments and make more meaningful relationships with my blogging world, I have felt better in many writing-related ways. I have gotten over a huge blockage I had in regards to working on my book, and I feel more able to write my silly articles without bitterness for my job because I can take little breaks and leave a meaningful comment or two. It is my little exercise of verbalizing how I feel from a present state of mind.

The internet is a fabulous tool, a wonderful way of getting your voice into living rooms, coffee shops, parks, and minds all over the world. Pay attention to how you relate to it; and maybe you will learn more about how you relate with the rest of your daily scenery and relationships.

So let’s try to add a dose of awareness to the cocktail of all the things we are doing. Let’s be aware of our intention, our attention, and our inattention.

Sometimes it is tempting for me to read a post and love it, and simply hit “like.” But when I do that, the person doesn’t get to know how their words really affected me, sitting here in my hot little city with my feet on a dog and a glass of iced wine at my side. So I try to be honest and clear. It helps me in the rest of my life; and I think that those that don’t take advantage of such opportunities are missing out. That is why I left you a comment.

The Five-Minute Secret

Since it only takes a moment for your mood to shift, it’s amazing what you can accomplish in just five minutes!

I don’t know about you guys, but lately I am absolutely loaded with things to do! Working my own hours with my writing job means that I consistently have the “I should be working” feeling if I try to do anything else. Having a book to write leaves me with a little voice whispering “Stop neglecting me, I want to play!” Oddly enough, that’s also what my dog keeps saying. In my head.

Then there is hiking to be done, meditation to commit to, a yoga practice to maintain, and my physical health! Not to mention the songs I’m trying to write on guitar and the little garden I’m building up, my dog’s training classes, and this blog! Also, I want to get better at spinning fire poi. Endless loves of my life, these things, and yet sometimes an entire day will pass where all I do is one or two of them. I’ll think of them all, but my actual energy will not be spent on them.

This can lead me to feeling in a rather bad mood. You could easily look at me like I am crazy, since I make my own hours and can, at any point, decide to do my book or guitar or dog play time or anything. Yet it’s hard for me to get out of the funk of “I need to work-work-work” and “I need to only work on my book when I have a whole day to devote to it,” and yada yada yada.

What I realized today is that there is a magic secret to all of this.

Today when I woke up I realized that my moods were getting a bit powerful.  I set my little timer and meditated for five minutes. It was the first time in several months that I had done so. Then, when I brushed my teeth, I stretched more than usual. Pandora was playing Bob Dylan, and I danced. I pretended that I was spinning my fire poi, and tried to make sure that my feet reached every part of the floor at least once.

Then I took little breaks during my work day and recorded some versions of songs I was working on, and found websites that relate to this blog entry so that I could make the links more easily. Never taking more than five minutes to do any of these things.

Turns out, five minutes is a long time; and not only that, but there is a snowball effect when you start indulging in these lovely things!

If you care about how many calories can be burned in five minutes, there is a great chart on this link. You can see that five minutes of anything can burn up some of the calories you’ve eaten, which can feel great if you are looking to do that sort of thing.

For those of us that are avid anti-calorie counters, there are also immense benefits of five minutes of meditation. With such a short period of time, you are not going to be getting as much cumulative benefits as with a longer sit,but you are getting something; and something is better than nothing. You can reverse your stress response. For me, I notice that even after a five minute sit, my body feels more grounded and I am more likely to think before making snap reactions during the day.

Furthermore, there are benefits of five minutes of massage! Of course, it is great for someone else to do the massage; and ideal for it to be longer. But when is the last time you sat in a comfy position and rubbed the back of your head and neck for five minutes? It will help move your lymph, reduce your stress, prevent some trigger points from forming, and make you feel good.

The last thing I’ll discuss here is how great it is to spend five minutes outside. When you see the health benefits of spending five minutes outside, you will realize that it is one of the easiest things to do. I’m willing to bet that plenty of you guys are just like me in that you spend a lot of time doing what you have to do, a bunch of time doing what you want to do, and yet you still feel that there are things that you do not have time for.

I think that the five minute mark is a great one to work with. Anyone has time to put five minutes into a sitting meditation, or into a walk. And then, once you do one of those things that you know you need to do, you will end up doing more; I almost guarantee it!  At least, that is how it worked for me. The five minute snowball miracle.

What are some of the things that you wish you had more time for in your daily life? Are you ever surprised with how much you can accomplish in five minutes? I know I sure am!

Investing Wisely: Mindfulness, Money, and a Porch Garden

My little organic porch garden complete with Rosemary, Sweet Basil, Spicy Basil, Lemon Basil, Sage, and Oregano.

There is one thing that I have neglected to do in my life; and that is make financial investments. My money is all in my bank account, and half of it just got spent on a bed.

There are times that this truth makes me worried. But lately, there is something that is becoming abundantly clear.

I have spent the last fifteen or so years investing in my emotional well-being in the event of disaster.

I know, I know. Nothing quite beats a big cushion of cash when the you-know-what hits the fan. Your house gets blown away, you can buy a new one. Your spouse wants a divorce, you can get a fancy lawyer. You get tired of your repetitive job, you take off to a new country for as long as you feel like.  Money can do a lot of things.

But it can’t really save you. Not really.

A mindfulness meditation practice, on the other hand, fills in the eerie and often denied missing space left behind by money. While money is a giant robot tromping through a field of wild flowers, mindfulness meditation can slip behind it and nourish all the broken stems back to health. Where money comes in to throw a big electronic plate in front of the sun for relief, mindfulness practice strolls by and hands you a brand new pair of classy shades. Money wants to pave the world in rubber to protect your feet; mindfulness gives you a new pair of cruelty-free shoes. Mindfulness wins, hands down, because it gives you the power to deal with the things that money tries to shield you from.

I have a porch garden. Bet you thought I’d never get to the point of the picture. My porch garden, as you can see in, is quite small. It consists of a few plants; all of them go good in spaghetti sauce, and each has a wonderful way of growing towards the sun.

This porch garden has led to a lot of thinking on my part lately. You see, it makes me feel happy. When I walk out with my wine bottle full of water, ready to touch the soil and keep it all appropriately wet, I feel like a little off-shoot of mother nature herself. When I untangle the stems and try to figure out how to take what I need from the little guys while helping them to grow better instead of hurting them, I feel like a mad scientist of nature; some kind of fairy-winged Einstein. These things make me good, no matter what type of day I am having.

Maybe it is the fact that I care about these little dudes, and I want the best for them. Caring about any creature is a cool thing to do, but usually the creature bears more resemblance to ourselves. Plants enjoy water and sun, and that’s about as much as they have in common with us. Of course, they are made of cells and love chlorophyll and there are other similarities; but the point is that they are not as similar to us as, let’s say, a dog or a hamster. Those creatures have two eyes, cute little hands, an appetite for cookies, and a nose and other things. The plants are just sitting there, growing, drinking, and sunning themselves happily. Some humans do that; but not the interesting ones.

I have been realizing lately that the things I have invested my time and energy into, such as my Reiki practice, my massage practice, my writing, my mindfulness practice, and my brief little relationship with EFT, all go a long way to helping me when disaster strikes.

Of course, it would be nice to have lots of money to rely on too. But would that really help? At this point, I am not so sure. I am wondering if it would actually just make it easier for me to avoid life itself and seek the next “solution,” the next “thing” that would get me to feel “better” when really, all I need is a whiff of basil.

A lot of recent conversations that I’ve had have revolved around the fact that worry and anxiety are rather useless. If something “bad” happens, you can deal with it in the moment. If I want to worry about my dog, my car, my boss, my friends, my street, etc, then anything can happen and there is no way for me to act appropriately in order to prevent it.

If I trust, however, that I can deal with whatever does happen when it happens, then suddenly I am free to enjoy the moment. Suddenly, I have my power back. For it is impossible to decide to take responsibility for your feelings when you are living in the past or the future, living in worry or anxiety or panic; it is impossible to then make a choice about what to do, how to feel, and how to love. It’s like being trapped in an out-of-whack time machine when all you really want to do is make a cup of tea and watch the sunset on this very evening.

If you are aware that it is the present moment, and you are enjoying it without fear or hesitancy for the future, then you have your power. You can choose what to do, with or without money, because you will still be fine. You will face and deal with whatever things arise because you are there to deal with them. If the stove catches fire, you can deal with it. If your dog freaks out, you can deal with it. If someone close to you is hurt, you can deal with it. It doesn’t make it so that “bad” things don’t happen; because that is not up to you. But it at least lets you only experience them when they are actually happening, rather than when they are not.

It is like uncovering a super power. And all you have to do is invest; not your money, but your time. A few minutes a day of meditation, or of mindfully coalescing with your plants. A little bit of Reiki meditation for those that are trained, or of research into a Reiki class near you if you are not.

We are brought up to see that money can save us, that money can be there when problems arise. But the secret to all of it is that you can be there too; your brain and soul and being can be there to work with what happens in the event without trying to run away with things that money can buy.

Mindfulness meditation is my investment for the future. It is my way of knowing that no matter what, I will be able to be present to the best of my ability, and to work with what is happening with integrity and authenticity.

What type of emotional, financial, or educational investments have you made? Are there other types that I haven’t thought of? How are they working out for you?